Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
