my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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