i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
