he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
