so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
