i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
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Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
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I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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