i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
