Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
