So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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