"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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