North Korea, Best Korea!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
