this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
