I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize