Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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