i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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