I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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