David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
