you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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