well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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