I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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