Jerry, you need to find god
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
