been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
