is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
