Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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