Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
