I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize