He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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