genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I have already put on my inside pants.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
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