Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
