I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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