Tell her she can't have a vagina
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
