Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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