I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
The beer is more important than you right now.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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