well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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