So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
