I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
