she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
