i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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