NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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