Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
