I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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