found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
