Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

I seem to have left my pride at pride

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(678): View more from Georgia

Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.

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(309): View more from Illinois

Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?

(1-309): View more from Illinois

I decided to mark my territory.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(734): View more from Michigan

I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things

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(210): View more from Texas

I want to own their dicks and all the attachments

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(224): View more from Illinois

I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.

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(757): View more from Virginia

I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.

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