thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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