I'd wear matching sweaters with you
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize