The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
