He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
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