you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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