A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
