just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
