i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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