Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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