He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We left the knife in your bed.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Enjoy the penises
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
