Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
