And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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