Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
