I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We left the knife in your bed.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
