Just mADE A PArabola og urine
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
