He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
