Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
