A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
