I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
